So, I know I have not really been here for a long time. Needless to say, a lot has happened. At first I came to this point in my life where I found that I needed to stop writing and start doing. Of course, that is easier said than done. You see, I am sick. I have been very sick for a very long time- I just never really knew it. I spent a lot of time convincing myself that I was just fine- that I need to tough it out- that everyone else feels the same way as I do and that I just need to be stronger, but after many doctor visits I have come to find that that is not the case.
Truth is, I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome(EDS) type three and POTS disease- connective tissue disorders. So basically my entire life when my joints constantly popped out of socket every hour and my heart felt like it was about to burst and everyone told me I was just fine- it was all a lie. When the doctors diagnosed me it was as if I was an orphan and I had finally found my real parents. Things actually started to make sense. Despite popular belief, I actually am NOT crazy. (Well, at least not completely.) So, as you can imagine EDS and POTS along with all my post concussion problems and allergies- things have been a bit rough. I fall and pass out frequently. (I have also experienced amnesia… very freaky.) I’m on so many medicines my hair falls out in chunks, I get these horrible sores in my mouth, not enough oxygen is getting to my brain, and I’m back at physical therapy twice a week every week. But in all reality the hardest part is that I look “normal” so it is hard for people to really grasp that I’m always sick or why I miss so much school.
But don’t get me wrong, I manage. I work my butt off. Remember, the world stops turning for no one. I retired from soccer after my last concussion in 2011 (my freshman year of high school) and came back my sophomore year as President of my school’s Speech and Debate club and started an Amnesty human rights club at my school as well. Now this year, my junior year, I am president of three clubs, Vice president of another club, in National Honor Society, manage A’s in my AP classes, and have a summer law internship waiting for me. It has been tough… scratch that- it has been hell. But I will live. I have made it this far after all. I realize that these battles I have come across are a small piece of the puzzle. It is not who I am, but a part of who I am. I understand that not everyone will understand. I also comprehend that I do not have to waste my time convincing people I am ill. I am also thankful for all that I have been blessed with- including these sicknesses. It is a blessed new perspective that not everyone is allowed to see from. I have learned and gained more in my darkest and deepest moments in the past four years than in all my life in school thus far. Many have it worse than I do. Many don’t have the great friends, doctors, or the opportunities I have. Things have been bad, but they could have been worse. And so, I smile.
Anyway, that’s a quick summary of things. I miss you guys. You know who you are. Just know I am still out here fighting and I hope you are as well. Know that just as you have been there for me I will do the same. I wish you all the best. I intend to be on here more. And as always, remember that everything happens for a reason and the best has yet to come.